Unnormal
by mercva
Summary: Xander and Willow decide to cosplay for halloween, rather than the normal costumes.
1. Part One : Halloween

Buffy looked over the grinning plastic pumpkin. It was orange, had a gap-toothed grin and was utterly banal beyond a badly digitized scream. Why was she looking at it again? 

She put it down in favour of looking for Willow. Who then came to her. 

"What'd you get?," Buffy asked. She couldn't wait to see what her clever friend had chosen. A seductress of the night, or a raver... a complete one eighty from her normal Willowy self. 

The redhead grinned in triumph. "A time honoured classic!" 

She held up a package with a ghost costume. A sheet with eye holes and 'Boo!' printed on it. Buffy groaned. 

"Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice?" Friends never let friends dress badly. 

"It's not spooky enough?," Willow asked, letting a little kid and his frowning mother past to look at the demon costumes. 

"It's just... you're never gonna get noticed like that. You're missing the whole point of Halloween," Buffy explained. Willow was a smart cookie, she'd've thought that her friend would've picked this up. 

"Free candy?," Willow asked, her grin returning at the thought of chocolatey goodness. 

"It's come as you aren't night," Buffy continued. "The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions!" 

"Oh, I don't--," Willow began, a frown creasing her face. 

"Come on, we can look for another costume while I find mine," Buffy said, convincing Willow to go along with her. 

* * * 

Elsewhere in the store, Xander Harris was looking for his. He had initially planned on something like a soldier costume. But all of those made in sizes for the over ten crowd were out of stock. So he was 'browsing' through the small shop. He felt like Cordelia. Ugh. What was this rack? He looked at the label attached to the display. 'Cosplay'? What was that? 

The shopkeeper appeared at his elbow. He was thin, and had a baggy red dress shirt on. 

"What's 'cosplay'?," Xander asked. The term was weird -- he'd never heard it, nor overheard any of the fashion junkies at school say it. 

"Fascinating, really. It means dressing up as your favourite character from a TV show," the man explained. He must be 'Ethan', Xander thought. 

"Oh... say, what's this one with the long red coat and the hat?," Xander asked. It had a shoulder harness with two large handgun mockups in it, which had attracted his attention. 

"Character called 'Alucard', from the Hellsing series in Japan. Most people who've seen it like him," the shopkeeper explained. 

Cordelia appeared out of nowhere, like a ninja at night. 

"It would be a waste on you, Xander," she commented. "You'd manage to make even this look bad." 

"Hey!," Xander protested. "I could look good in this!" 

"Yeah, right," Queen C snorted. "I'm just being honest here." 

And with that, she was gone. 

"So, that costume?," Ethan breezily chirped. 

"Yeah!" 

* * * 

After finding Buffy and Willow in the packed little store, he'd proceeded to watch Buffy pick out a dress that looked to be made of more material than Cordelia's total wardrobe. Xander didn't really think that the billowy dress was Buffy, but it was her choice. 

"Now, for a better costume for you, Willow," Buffy announced. 

"What? Has Willow suddenly lost her costume sense?," Xander asked. "Maybe she could borrow some off Batman." 

"There's nothing wrong with a ghost costume," Willow argued, then blushed as she realised the disbelieving looks she was getting. "If, of course, you want to go for the classic look. Which I thought might be a good idea--" 

"Okay, Wills, I think we can go a little better than that," Xander replied. "There's a stand of great costumes over there, on the 'Cosplay' display. They're all our size, and not kiddy sized." 

"You could go on a diet," Willow teased. 

"Take my life, but not my Twinkies!," Xander postured. 

"This one looks good," Buffy said, pulling out a black and red leather outfit. A pair of moving blades were attached to the gloves. "What do you think, Xander, Will?" 

Buffy held it up against the furiously blushing Willow. 

"Well, well, well...," Xander mused. "You can do it!" 

"Oh, please," Cordelia chipped in. "Willow, you'd manage to make this look like a knitted cardigan. Of the Christmas present variety." 

"Hey!," Willow yelled. "I could do this, if I wanted to. Which I might, since it is nice, and a friend picked it out, and--" 

"Whatever," Cordelia dismissed her. "I'm going to get my costume at a better shop than this." 

And she departed a second time, this time for good. 

"Okay," Xander said, "That decides it, Will. I picked my costume because she thought I couldn't do it. I'm going to prove her wrong, and I think you should too." 

Willow had her Resolve Face on. "I am! I'm--say, what is this costume of anyway?" 

The proprieter popped up again. "Blood Rayne, from the computer game. Charming girl. In the game, she works for an organisation resembling a Council, and kills zombie and vampire Nazis." 

"Really?," Buffy says, curious. "Sounds interesting." 

"And now we arrive at the crucial moment," Ethan said. "The moment on which your happiness and trick or treating rest." 

Xander blinked. "Ummm... do we have to do kareoke or some task to hire these?" 

"Cash, or credit card?" 

* * * 

Buffy looked through her clipboard, trying to remember the names of the kids she had been assigned to look after. Snyder interrupted her perusal, bringing the children. 

"This is your group, Summers. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won't expel you," the short, balding man snapped. "It's good to know that you, at least, can be trusted to not dress as a troublemaker." 

The Slayer bent down to greet her charges. "Hi, I'm--" 

"Ah, ah!," Snyder said. 

Further down the hall, Xander had his group in a line. Well, an almost line. 

"Okay, for extra candy, tears are good. You can try 'you missed me', but that only works well for old people. Understood?," he said, adjusting the widebrimmed hat. 

The kids nodded, even if it was teaching kids how to cadge more free stuff. 

"Okay, let's go," Xander commanded. 

* * * 

Willow had managed to avoid Xander and Buffy once they'd gotten to school. She selfconsciously adjusted the closefitting leather singlet, trying to get it to show less than it actually did. And reminded herself to be careful with her arms, so the blunt blades wouldn't catch on anything. 

The jewish girl still wasn't sure how Buffy had managed to talk her into it. The costume was worth it, though, just to see Queen C's face. 

So far, her kids had made quite a respectable haul, almost filling their loot bags. The only low point of the evening had been at Mrs Davis' house -- the old woman, as always, was handing out toothbrushes in stern disapproval. 

"C'mon guys," Willow encouraged as they came to one of the last houses. 

A kid in a green mask pushed the doorbell, then stepped back. Once the old lady opened the door, the children chorused "Trick or treat!" 

"Oh my goodness! Aren't you adorable?," the old lady said, reaching for her bowl of lollies to hand out. "Oh dear! Am I all out?" 

She looked around, drawing a blank. "I'm sorry, Mister Monster. Maybe I--" 

* * * 

Xander jerked to a stop, feeling something strange pass over him. 

The grey suit under the long red coat shimmered slightly. Suddenly the plastic handguns were a lot heavier in the weapons harness, and he could feel the weight of things in his pockets. Something made a gentle sloshing noise. 

Alucard blinked. What was he doing in some town? North America, by the look of it. One with hellish monsters on it. Ah well -- he was a monster himself, he could kill them with impunity. 

The tall vampire drew his Casull from under his coat, lining up the barrel with the small fiends before a young woman in a... cat costume? grabbed his arm. 

"Hey! Xander, you can't kill them! They're just little kids!," the girl screamed at him. 

"They're monsters," Alucard pointed out. "And who's Xander? I'm Alucard, of the Hellsing Institute." 

Cordelia blinked. "No, you're not. You're Xander Harris, under a spell or something." 

The old vampire paused, spiritually feeling his energies. They were strange, as if they didn't belong to him for some reason. He thought on it for awhile, stretching his senses to the rest of the small town. He could feel a female like him, and a very weak male vampire. Both had the strange not-fitting energies. 

There were numerous other vampires in this small town, but none worthy of his attention. Except for a few, most were less than a century old. 

"Perhaps," he agreed. "Come. It's a beautiful night tonight." 

"Just great," Cordelia muttered. "I get landed with the bloodsucking freaks." 

Alucard, hearing this, just grinned. 

Cordelia spotted what was Willow. The girl with shoulderlength carrot coloured hair was dressed in tight leather and silk, lines of flesh showing where her leggings met the singlet part of her costume. Fangs showed as she snarled at a small demon that she had kicked onto the ground, and was about to decapitate with her blades. 

Cordelia screamed, "STOP!" 

Rayne looked at the woman in the cat-suit. "What?" 

"They're humans under a spell," Alucard explained. The vampire was finding all this exceedingly amusing. 

"You're kidding," Rayne said. "Where's the spellcaster?" 

"What's with all this killing?," Cordelia asked no one. "Am I the only non-homicidal person here?" 

The two vampires looked at her, a grin on their faces. 

"Okay, ignore that. Everyone, to Summers' house. She's the Slayer, she can handle this," Cordelia decided. 

Alucard pulled out a bag of medical blood, idly sucking on the contents. "Want some?" 

Rayne nodded, draining the bag then tossing it aside. 

"Rayne, I can bring the people that we're supposed to be back," Alucard said to his fellow bloodsucker as they followed the cat lady. "Interested?" 

Rayne nodded. "Sure. As long as I don't die." 

* * * 

The Lady screamed. She was alone, there was no man to protect her, and /monsters/ were running loose! She'd narrowly avoided a screaming demon with brilliant lights, and was catching her breath leaning against a tree. 

"Buffy?," a man approaching her asked. "What's going on?" 

"Who... who are you?," the Lady asked. "I don't like this place! I want to go home!" 

"You don't remember who you are?," Angel wondered. "Let's find Giles." 

* * * 

At the school library, Giles was sorting the card catalog, when Angel and Buffy in a gown and wig burst in the doors. It would be more accurate to say Angel burst in, dragging Buffy behind him. 

"Good heavens, what is the matter?," Giles asked. 

"She's forgotten who she is," Angel explained, "and so have all the other kids who have dressed up." 

* * * 

A peroxide blonde vampire in a black longcoat wandered down one of Sunnydale's streets, in wonderland. Monsters and the odd vampire were running past him, chasing terrified people. 

"Well! This... this is just neat!," the British undead exclaimed. 

The sight of Buffy in a red gown, appearing utterly terrified with Angel pulling her along caught his eye. He'd have to have some fun. But first things first... 

He grabbed one of the monsters, changing to his game face. 

* * * 

"So, where is the rest of the group?," Giles asked Angel. Buffy was of no use, refusing to research and refusing to help plan. 

"I don't know. My first guess would be Buffy's house," the Irish vampire thought out loud. 

"Well. Off we go then," Giles said, grabbing some stakes and a crossbow from the cabinet in the book cage. 

* * * 

Cordelia and Joyce looked on the two vampires in the back yard, clutching some steak knives that Joyce had had in the kitchen. Alucard was causing some red lined designs to appear in the air, like a drawing on a huge piece of transparency paper. The red lines flared as the two appeared to turn solid black. 

The two vampires, one female in leather, and the other male in a suit, coat and hat, fell to the ground, memories and personalities merging. 

Giles, Angel and Buffy appeared, the two mortals breathless from the run. After Cordelia filled them in on what had happened, the Lady decided she had had enough. 

"I hate this place! I hate you all, and I just want to go home!" And with that, she burst into tears. 

Alucard/Xander got up, rubbing his head. 

"That hurt... ow. Will, remind me never to buy possessed costumes again," Xander said. He felt something tickling his mouth slightly, and ran his tongue over his teeth experimentally. 

"Uh... Giles? We seem to have a problem," he said nervously. Rayne/Willow had reached the same conclusion after a moment. 

"Uh, what has happened now?," Giles asked. This was getting strange. Well, stranger than normal. 

"I still seem to be a vampire. But a Xander-like vampire, with Xander-like memories as well as Alucard memories." 

"Me too," Willow chipped in. "Well, except for the Xander-like part. Mine is more Willow-like, since I'm Willow and all." 

Giles took his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off a headache. "Cordelia, you don't seem to be affected like all the others. Why is that?" 

Queen C looked triumphant. "/I/ don't shop at crummy places like Ethan's Costumes. /I/ shopped at Partytown. Not that I'll get my deposit back -- did you see what Jo Jo The Dogfaced Boy /did/ to my costume?" 

"Er, here you go," Giles said, taking his jacket off. Cordelia accepted the thing, as it warmed her slightly. She'd never admit to wearing it afterwards, of course. 

"Well, if it's only people who shopped at Ethan's, let's go break some heads," Xander said, vestiges of Alucard showing. 

"I'm sure that I'll be able to handle it. The rest of you, guard Buffy until she... well, until she can look after herself," Giles commanded. "She will make quite a tempting target to others until then." 

Angel gave Xander a look as Giles left. "So, how're you going, Deadboy?" 

"Shut up!," Xander yelled. His voice was now quite deep compared to normal Xander. 

Willow looked up. 

"What about us if Giles can't change it back?," she worried. "What if none of our ID works?" 

Joyce asked unsurely, "So... you're Willow?" 

* * * 

Spike crouched, talking to the child-monsters he had gathered. 

"Now, the Slayer is around here somewhere," he said. "The juiciest, tenderest meat you've ever seen, and we just have to find her first!" 

After a moment's thought, he realised that she would be home, next door. A quick look over the fence showed her to be off to one side, almost catatonic. Spike hated women that couldn't take care of themselves. Well, except for Dru -- but that wasn't her fault, was it? 

He jumped over, grabbed the Lady, and hit the ground running. 

* * * 

"Hello, Ethan." 

"Hello, Ripper." 

After a few moments talking, and a few fighting, Giles had managed to get the mage to tell him how to break the spell. All it had taken was a few broken and bruised organs and bones. 

He lifted the statue over his head, then threw it to the ground to break. 

* * * 

Spike grabbed the Lady's hair, pulled it so her neck was easily accessable. He was about to bite when the door broke down. 

A wind rushed through Sunnydale, as all the monsters changed back to scared children and student escorts. Except, strangely, for Alucard/Xander and Blood Rayne/Willow. 

"Hi, honey. I'm home," Buffy wisecracked as she slipped out from Spike's grip. 

She proceeded to beat him up, before he beat a hasty retreat. 

"Hey, Buffy. Welcome back," Xander said. 

Buffy looked at Xander and Willow, puzzled. "Didn't you guys change back too?" 

Xander shrugged. "Your Xander-shaped friend no longer seems to be Xander-shaped." 

"It must have been that ritual you did, you know, as Alucard," Willow thought out loud. "It's weird. I can remember killing Nazi's and mutated rednecks, but at the same time, I can remember growing up in Sunnydale." 

"I know," Xander said. "It's weird. Most of my memories, though, are fuzzy." 


	2. Part Two : Lie To Me

Pre-Fic Comments: 

I've found some links with information on Alucard, if people want to have a look. Obviously, I recommend hunting up the DVDs of Hellsing. (Make sure to not listen to the english dub. The translation isn't the greatest, and the voice actor for Alucard is... somewhat badly chosen.) 

-Check out the menu's to the side as well for more information. 

Blood Rayne -- my first piece of advice is to play the game a bit. The website has a very good overview of Blood Rayne, if you are unable to get the game. 

Feedback is always most welcome. 

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to almost all the characters in this file, and am just borrowing them for the duration. 

* * *

Once back at the school library, Giles adjusted his glasses while the gang all grabbed seats. 

"Well, this was quite unexpected," the Watcher said. "From everything I've read, Xander and Willow should have changed back as well." 

Xander looked up. His red-tinted John Lennon shades had fallen to the tip of his nose, showing eyes with red where brown would normally be. 

"I've got an idea on why we're still in trick or treat mode," he said. "It's revenge on us for all those places we egg bombed when we were six, Will." 

The Librarian pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off a headache. 

"Xander, it has been a long night, I am tired, and have no desire to deal with bad jokes. If you have something to say, say it," Giles said, barely restraining a growl. 

"It could have something to do with that magic that Alucard did," Willow suggested. 

"Great. Magic," Buffy sighed. "You've got bigger problems than that." 

Xander blinked. 

"Classes," Giles explained. "You only bear a passing resemblance to Alexander Harris now. Willow is more likely to pass inspection, as she is only a bit taller, her hair is shorter, and... um." 

"Yeah, I'm not complaining," Willow smiled. Her bust size had increased with the change. 

"Here's an idea," Xander said. "We say that I'm my cousin staying with my parents." 

"Ahhh... Xander, your parents will notice," the Slayer pointed out. 

The tall vampire grinned. "Not a problem. Now, sunlight. I can tolerate it -- I just don't like it now." 

"You... you're a full vampire, and yet can survive sunlight?," the Watcher asked. 

Xander nodded. 

"Amazing. And you, Willow?" 

"I'm fine. I'm only half vampire." 

"What, were you only half-killed when they did the whole sucking thing to you?," Buffy asked. 

The redhead shook her head. "Rayne's father was an... um. You know." 

* * *

On the other side of town, a car was arriving in town. It was a beautiful car, in the style of the vintage phaetons of the early 20th century. The wheels had wire spokes, the paint was a glossy black. A long, slightly tapering hood covered a powerful engine. Running boards ran from the front wheel covers to the rear ones, with a silver grille on the front. Two figures, one old and one young, were sitting in the two seats. 

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?," the younger asked, leaning on the 'suicide' style door. 

"This is a great idea, boy," the elder said. "There's a lot we can do here." 

"I just hope all your enemies don't catch up with us here." 

"I just hope that your music doesn't finally do me in," the elder snapped. 

"I want a ride tomorrow," the younger asked. "I want to play with the Slayer a bit first." 

"Fine, fine," the elder sighed. "If I don't, you'll screw with them another way. Just don't antagonize them!" 

* * *

Xander looked around. On the way in to this club that Buffy's new slash old friend Ford had entered, he and Willow had noticed a man working with a gas torch on the building. Lazy builders? Perhaps. 

Looking around, all of the people in this place were goths. He couldn't see a single person in anything as colourful as grey, let alone yellow or green. In his blood red coat, he stood out like a man in a suit at a day care center. 

"Boy, we blend right in," Willow said. 

"In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs," Xander agreed. 

He had dressed in the suit and coat he bought from Ethan's shop, as for some reason he felt most comfortable in it. He kept the gloves in his pocket, though. Willow was in jeans and a brightly striped shirt. Angel, in his all black suit with white shirt, mixed in with the goths well. 

The vampire with a soul told them to look downstairs, while he looked upstairs. After talking for awhile on the 'Yay! Vampires!' theme, a girl took pity on them and walked over to talk with them. 

"You guys are newbies, I can tell," the girl said. 

"Oh, no. We come here all the time," Willow said sarcastically. 

"Don't be ashamed! It's cool that you're open to it. We welcome anyone who's interested in the Lonely Ones," the girl explained. 

"The lonely ones?," Willow asked. The term was strange -- it sounded like a cult of some sort. 

"Vampires," Angel explained. 

Xander's eyes tightened, and he drew out his new shades, snapping them open and putting the red tinted shades on. 

"The ones who murder to survive, you mean?," Xander said, thinking on Alucard's experience with most vampires. 

The goth girl who had wandered over to them looked at them sadly, like a teacher whose student had just said 'Books is for those what can't 'member.' "So many people have that misconception. But they who walk with the night are not interested in harming anyone. They are creatures above us. Exalted!" 

"You're a fool," Angel spat. 

* * *

The next day, Buffy was around at the school gates when an incredibly old looking car pulled up. It looked about a million years old in her eyes. A leather hood was pulled over it, with tinted glass composing the windows. Seeing inside the thing was impossible. 

"Wow," Xander said from behind her. "That car must be worth at least a hundred grand." 

"I don't know," Willow mused. "My old stuff isn't worth much." 

"No one drives cars like that," Buffy said. "No one normal." 

A figure got out of the passenger side of the car, opening the suicide door with a black glove. The figure, obviously male from his apparel, had a black pair of jeans, heavy boots and a long sleeved black shirt on. A wide red hat was perched on top of his head. In no way was he in any danger of contact with sunlight. 

"Vamp alert, twelve o'clock," Xander joked. 

"I don't get it," Buffy said. "My Slayer-sense isn't getting anything." 

The small group stopped talking as the figure walked up to them. Behind him, the car pulled away. 

"Are you Buffy Summers? I'm Tim Arkhangel," the figure said. "I hope to see more of you later. Perhaps with a watcher as well." 

* * *

Later that day, Willow caught up with Buffy in the hallway. After some apologies from the two for investigating Buffy's old friend Ford behind her back, Buffy walked off abruptly. 

"Wait a moment -- Angel was in your bedroom the other night?," Xander asked, as something Willow mentioned in her apology 'clicked'. 

"Ours is a forbidden love," Willow said solemnly, with a slight smile. 

"Y'know, Will, it's pretty creepy how we've adjusted so well," Xander mused. 

Willow sighed. "It isn't easy. I can't really take baths now." 

"What?," the male vampire blinked. 

"I'm only half vampire, so it won't kill me, but pools of water are bad for Rayne's breed of vampire," the redhead explained. 

"I see," Xander said. "I kinda remember something about that from Alucard's memories. He encountered something similar in his life." 

"I've been reading about that spell that Ethan Rayne did," Willow began. "And--" 

"I've got to get to class, Will," Xander interrupted. "Can we talk about this later?" 

"Sure! You know, I'm pretty sure that our English teacher is a demon..." 

* * *

Ford checked his watch. Buffy shouldn't be turning up for another few hours. 

A pulse of pain shot through his head as he learnt that some of her friends had been asking questions at the club he had organised. Did he have to do *everything*? 

"I'm sorry, Ford! I just couldn't wait 'till tonight. If you had to put up with my new neighbours, you'd understand. Impatience is like a real flaw of mine too, you know?" 

Great. The source of his headache had turned up. He watched as Buffy walked down the stairs to his little group. 

"We all have flaws," Ford said as he dry-swallowed a couple of painkillers. 

"I know," Xander said from the top of the stairs. He was dressed in Alucard's suit and coat again. Willow was besides him with her arm-blades attached. She was in normal clothing, however. "Mine is that I don't trust people." 

"I think that Ford's has to do with that he's a lying scumbag," Buffy chirpily deadpanned. 

The vampire and the half-vampire watched from the top of the stairs as Buffy and Ford argued. It turned out that Ford was going to sacrifice Buffy to a vampire so that he could become a vampire. Xander and Willow moved down to the bottom floor of the dark club, Xander pulling out his shades and gloves. 

SLAM! 

The good guys jumped as Ford's friend, Diego, closed the heavy door. Ford explained that no one was getting out of the ex-bunker alive. 

* * *

Spike finished giving orders to his minions as they approached the Sunset Club. Ford had made a deal with him; all of Ford's 'friends' in exchange for turning Ford. 

"When we get there, everybody spread out. Two men on the door, first priority's the Slayer, everything else is fair game, and let's remember to share, people," the bleached Brit commanded. 

"Are you sure you're up for this?," he asked Drusilla. 

The thin undead seer looked up at Spike from under her long hair. "I want a treat. I need a treat." 

"And a special one you'll have," Spike said indulgently. He dangled his keys in the air. "Lucius! Bring the car around." 

* * *

Back at the sealed club, Buffy kicked the door again. 

"Xander, Willow, help me!," she pleaded. 

The two vampires sat in a pair of armchairs. 

"Why? We'll have to dust Spike sooner or later," Xander pointed out. "And I'd rather do it sooner." 

"It makes sense," Willow agreed. 

"Hey, you never give up, do you?," realised Ford. 

"No, I don't," the Slayer snapped. 

"That's a good quality in a person. Too many people, they just lay back and take it, but us...," Ford trailed off. A smile tugged at his mouth, not touching his eyes. 

Buffy paused in her barrage for a moment. "Us? We have something in common now?" 

"More than you think." 

"Yeah, well, let me explain something to you. You're what we call the bad guy," Buffy pointed out. 

"I guess I am!," her old ex-friend chuckled. 

The Slayer looked down towards the lower level, where the club-goers were. "These people aren't gonna get changed, are they? The rest of them, they're just fodder." 

"Technically, yes. But I'm in. I will become immortal," Ford assured her. 

Buffy then tried to explain to Ford that that wasn't how it worked; that a demon took up residence in your corpse. But he wasn't having any of that. 

"I look good, don't I? Well, let me tell you something - I've got maybe six months left, and by then what they bury won't even *look* like me. It'll be bald and shriveled and it'll smell bad. No, I'm not going out that way," the youth snapped. 

After a bit of further argueing, Ford backhanded Buffy, sending her rolling down the metal stairs in surprise. The noise of the outer door opening grated, sending a visible shiver of anticipation down the girl Chantarelle's back. 

As Spike marched in, game face visible, she only then realised the truth, and started to cry. 

"Okay, showtime," Xander said, getting up from the chair and pulling on the gloves. The complex magical designs on them flared briefly. 

"Who're you?," Spike said. He could feel that the stranger in the long red coat was a vampire, and an old one, but he didn't recognise him or his breed. 

Xander grinned, showing his new long fangs. Behind Spike, Buffy took the opportunity to grab the weakened Drusilla. 

"Spike!," the Vampire Slayer shouted. 

Blinking in horror at his love being used as a hostage, Spike yelled at his minions (or what remained of them) "Everybody STOP!" 

"Good idea. Now you let everyone out, or your girlfriend fits in an ashtray," Buffy snarled. 

"Spike?," the child-like Drusilla quavered. 

The British undead made a snap decision. Some meals over Dru's life... no. "It's gonna be alright, baby. Let them go!" 

The lesser vampires retreated from their victims and fighting Willow, letting the frightened humans run out of the building. 

"Xander, Willow, come up here," Buffy commanded. "Spike, down the stairs." 

As the three moved, Buffy pushed the crazy vampiress down the stairs to Spike. Next, Buffy and her two friends ran out, shutting the one-way door behind them. 

"Uh, where's the doorknob?," Spike asked. 

Spike looked at Ford. Ford looked at Spike. 

* * *

The next night, Buffy sat on a gravestone, waiting for Ford to rise as she chatted to Giles. 

"I wish we could hate him," Buffy complained. "He wanted to be the villain. But he was just scared, in the end." 

"Yes, I suppose he was," Giles agreed. 

"Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. I mean, Xander and Willow are like vampires too, now, as well as Angel. Ford was alive and, well... I don't know who to love or hate. Who to trust. The more I know, the more confused I get." 

"I believe it's called growing up," Giles dryly observed. 

"I'd like to stop, then, okay?" 

"I know the feeling," Giles soothed. A look of sorrow passed over his face for a fleeting second. 

"Does it ever get easy?," Buffy asked. 

Before Giles could answer, Ford clawed his way out of his grave. His face was mutilated in the usual Sunnydale-vampire fashion. As he attacked Buffy instinctively, seeking blood, the Slayer staked the fledgeling vampire with the ease of practice. 

"You mean life?," Giles asked, used to these interruptions at nights. 

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "Does it get easy?" 

"What do you want me to say?," Giles asked carefully. 

The Slayer looked up at her Watcher. "Lie to me." 

Giles considered it for a moment, before coming up with an answer. "Yes, it's terribly simple." 

They started walking out of the cemetery to patrol the other areas of town. 

"The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after," Giles declared. It was obvious that he did not believe what he was saying. 

"Liar." 

* * *

Post-Fic Comments: 

For an idea on what the car looks like, google for 'phaeton horch' or 'phaeton rolls royce'. 

Yes, Alucard can survive sunlight fine. While the anime does not mention this, the manga (comic book original version) does, in the trip overseas. 

I know that there's a lot of pretty much transcript conversation in here. I couldn't very well leave gaping holes, could I? 


End file.
